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Relationship Maturity


Everyone wants to find meaning in their relationships. But relationships can be tough.


For a long time, I've observed that people tend to define their relationships by only a few factors:

  1. Sex

  2. Investments (Time & $)

  3. Identity


This will show that with only these 3 factors, and 3 levels of maturity, we can quickly create an overarching structure allowing us to categorize all relationships based on their level of maturity in each area.


 

The meta-structure consists of the 3 common amount sizings, with a "None, Some, All" format :

  • None (Small)

  • Some (Medium)

  • All (Large)

These are then applied to the 3 topics: Sex, Investments, Identity


While the "None" amounts for each category are easy to understand, the "Some" and "All" may be ambiguous, so they've been clarified:




That's the overall meta-structure.


Each relationship type / phase is simply then a combination of each.



 

Examples: Non-Sexual Relationships


You don't know strangers. Aren't having any sexual interactions, are making no investments in them, and they aren't part of who you are or your identity.


Friendly acquaintances are people you've met, recognize, and spend time and energy with from time to time, but that's it. If you never saw them again, you may notice, but it wouldn't impact your life.


Sought after Companions are people that you spend time and $ with, and who you identify with / enjoy. They're your friends and colleagues that you want to spend time with, but who aren't essential for life or the party to carry on.


Trusted Partners are the people we can't see ourselves living without, and who we'd trust with making decisions with our time and money, often with access to them. So, often family and business partners.



 

Examples: Sexual Relationships


A "Fuck Buddy" is where there's no relationship beyond the sex. There's no broader friendship, or sense of identity and commitment with the person.


Dating, defined by the courting part of a relationship before exclusivity and commitment, has a range. They typically start a-sexually, and with little identification with the other person, but with the intent and expectation of quick growth in both areas. It also means a commitment of some time and $, but not much.


Committed Relationships also have a range, with the level or the relationship being associated with the level of maturity for each topic.


 

Obviously, there are other combinations not discussed, and phases where the relationship can be more or less mature in an area over time.


These don't cover the 'health' of these relationships. Simply, how we tend to define them by maturity per topic.


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